It seems there is lots of suffering going on these days. I’ve been saddened to hear about so many who are in the midst of battling anxiety and depression — the darkness. None of us are immune from it no matter how convinced we are that we are. I shudder just thinking about it.
I had my worst case of it ever back in the winter as you may know. The only way that I can describe it is it was like the Dementors in Harry Potter. Your soul feels like it is being sucked right out of you. Like watching someone die from cancer, you never know until you know. When it hits, you begin or I did, to feel like Linus from Charlie Brown. It feels as if there is a dark cloud following you around. One thing after another thing happens and most or all of them seem to make things worse.
I’m happy to finally have turned the page but will never forget how overwhelming some of my thoughts were. I thought about ending my life, but I kept thinking of a friend of ours who couldn’t take it anymore and ended his. Knowing the pain that came with his choice the days still came where the dark thoughts wouldn’t leave me and I wondered if they ever would. I worried that I would never get better and wondered if I could live with that.
That dark time gave me a new appreciation for those who battle it on a regular basis.
Lee has been one of those that I have personally seen suffering lately. Aside from the pain that watching him suffering brings is the fear that comes with it. We’ve been down that road and I know where it leads. I know that like death there are no words or actions that can “fix” that place — the darkness. It takes time and loads of love and compassion from all of us to bring each other back from that place.
So, I’ve been wondering what on earth I can do to help. I’ve decided that we truly are all each other’s life raft. We never know when a word or a deed might be the one thing that pulls someone back onto the raft and keeps them from drowning. When we are up and others are down we might not be able to “fix” the darkness but we can try to help them hold on until they can finally see the light again.
I hope you are not in need of a pull up onto the life raft today but if you are please consider this an outreached hand and feel my strong desire to help you. I’m praying for those who are suffering to know that they are not alone and that if they just hold on better days are ahead.
Hold on and don’t give up!