Happy New Year!
It is 1/11/2019, and I promised myself that today was the day that I would finally come out of hibernation. Spring is still a little down the road, but I know it is time. I knew it when I was sitting in the vet’s office this morning reading another article about suicide and mental health.
I am happy to say that I am not suffering from depression at this moment, but I have. People struggle all the time but the holidays and winter are one of the worst times of the year.
With this message, I wanted to reach out and say HOLD ON! Nothing lasts forever! Every moment can be the start of something new. The thing that always brings that home to me is when someone passes on.
Death has a way of waking us up. If we let it. Death. It has catapulted me to the highest peaks and some of the lowest valleys. Do we really live after we die or is that just some fantasy people hold on to because they cannot stand to think of the alternative?
I grew up in the Bible Belt, and I know what the Bible says but I can be honest and say I have had some doubts. Life sometimes knocks us down so hard that we doubt and forget and wonder even the simplest of things. What day is it? Where are my keys? Once we work through the simple wonderings, the more significant questions come.
Why are we here? What is this life all about? Do we really matter? Do we live after we die?
We live in a world where we must work to unplug, and I often think I could stay unplugged forever. My time hibernating has been some of my most joyful in a very long time. But then it comes. The constant urge that drives me to sit with a blank page and wait for what happens next. It is not me but something inside me that speaks. I know that voice like the back of my hand. It begins with the knowledge that I am supposed to be doing something with this beautiful thing called life besides hiding out with the beautiful birds and the peaceful dolphins.
Why today? 111 has been a significant sign in my life since my little brother Griffen shed his human clothing and went to heaven back in 2007. 111 and Griffen have been everywhere since then. Now it’s not just Griffen, he has an accomplice. My sweet Mama crossed over a little over a year ago, and the two of them will not let me rest. They have been hounding me in one way or another to work to fulfill one of the assignments that I am for sure God has given me —to write and to share. Why? Because I am willing to put myself out there. My struggles, my happy, my humanness.
We often look and see other people’s lives as perfect not realizing they are dealing with some horrible tragedy or hardship. A lot of people are not in a position or able to talk about their feelings. We gloss our pains over and do one of the things I think a lot of people do best — fake it until we make it.
If we could talk about our hearts and our souls and encourage one another instead of tearing each other down, this world might become a better place.
I spent this last year contemplating giving up on this writing thing. And some days I do wish I could, but something inside will not let me.
Maybe you don’t care about the more significant questions. Perhaps you are just struggling to get out of bed and tie your shoes. Regardless, you are not alone.
We all have to start somewhere. In some ways, I feel as if I am starting over too. What better way to begin than together.
So, Happy 111! I hope you know that you are loved and that we do live after we die. 🙂
I am beyond sure of that!