For those of you who read my Facebook posts and think that my life is somehow charmed, it is and it isn’t.
In my world of kayaking with Dolphins and playing there has also been a lot of challenges. You know I’ve seen death way too up close and personally along with some seriously dark times.
Lately, there has been menopause (according to my doctor), along with thyroid troubles, and a pain in my neck that sends my nerves on end. I’m sure I’m not alone and because of that, I am going to finally write about it in the hopes of helping someone else out there who might also find themselves in a life transition.
I want you to know that along with my beach trips and happy postings the struggle is real.
Today is an excellent example of the flip side of my life.
Along with my job, I had two appointments — one at 11:00 for a much needed haircut and another actual meeting at 1:00 or so that was what I thought.
I probably should have known when I heard horns blowing that something was amiss. Without even realizing it, I had pulled right out in front of oncoming traffic at a red light. I wasn’t texting; I actually thought I was paying attention. Thankfully, only their horns and their anger hit me. I waved apologies and drove on.
I arrived for my 11:00 and my sweet hairdresser said that she had me down at 1:00 — that her people must have made a mistake. She said it was okay; her appointment was a no-show so she would go ahead and take me. Hmm, that worked out well, right? Did I think to look at my calendar for a second check? No! I assumed that the people in Wilsons on Washington must have double booked.
Elena washed my hair and was drying it for my cut when her people came to tell her that her appointment showed up after all. I quickly said, “No worries. I will come back at 1:00.” Then it hit me and I looked at my phone to see the other appointment had called wondering why I didn’t show up. PANIC, SHEER PANIC and more PANIC! Lord have mercy…..what a dumbass!
With half my hair straight and the other in a wet curly mess I took off for my second appointment. I held my tears until I was in the car where I drove wailing and wondering if I might have finally lost my flipping mind.
Choose happy! Choose sanity! Choose something! How about choose to look at your calendar? That would probably be a good place to start.
I kept repeating over and over that everything was okay while searching for that peaceful place that I know is within. Dammit. I could not find that peace anywhere. Breathe, just breathe. My thoughts were not cooperating. Instead, they were racing and going to places that I hate for them to go.
I called Lee and told him that I was scared I might have something seriously wrong with me. He lovingly assured me that I was OKAY.
Thankfully my second appointment was kind and understanding. Before she could wonder why I had a half wet moppy head I explained my previous twenty minutes and broke down again. She assured me that it had happened before and everything was going to be okay.
I left her office and went back for my actual real haircut appointment time. Leaving with my usual Farrah Fawcett do that Elena gives me I climbed into my car and looked up to see 111, then 252 — the tag number of the truck Griffen died in — and then a tag that read GFN 9263. It was then that I knew no matter what had happened today, nobody had died and all of the events leading up to that moment whether I had lost my mind or not were merely a little blip on the radar in the grand scheme of life.
The point of this long drawn out story is this…… no matter how many steps backwards you take or you fall, you CANNOT give up on you or your life. You will find your way back to happiness and sadness and happiness again and somewhere in the in betweens maybe discover you are stronger than you know or that you or not alone or something. Hopefully, it won’t be that you don’t look too good with half curly half straight hair as I did earlier today!
Much love to you!
Kim
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